


Closer

by igi_pigi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-22 14:10:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11969040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igi_pigi/pseuds/igi_pigi
Summary: Precisely worded, the edict from the Allfather asked Lady Sif to dress fine and stay with the Crown Prince in today's celebration, and to take special care that he doesn't come to know of this exchange between her and the King.Is the Allfather asking of her what she thinks he is asking?[Set immediately before Thor2.]





	Closer

**Author's Note:**

> This is whatever, but whatever.

This is ridiculous. This feels so false. She cannot do this. This does not feel right.

Lady Sif sighs at her reflection in the mirror. She sits in her bedchambers, dressing for the feast being had in honor of winning the battle of Ria. The warriors are in Asgard only for a short while, to replenish their inventories before heading for the chaos in Vanaheim. Naturally, Volstagg and Fandrall decided to make good of the time before leaving tomorrow.

She too would have been part of the revelries in sporting spirits, if it weren't for the edict she had just received from the Allfather. Precisely worded, it asked her to dress fine and stay with the Crown Prince in today's celebration, and to take special care that he doesn't come to know of this exchange between her and the King.

Her first reaction was turning the parchment over and looking for more text! Is that all the Allfather wanted to say? Dress fine? Stay with Thor? What? Is the Allfather asking of her what she thinks he is asking?

Whole of Asgard knows of their Prince having "dallied around" with a Midgardian maiden on his exile. It is, or was, talked around - in hushed tones, of course. Some say she is one of his many, he would not go back to an inferior being. Some think he would bring her here as their Queen.

But Sif sees. She saw the girl, saw her attraction to Thor, and his attachment to her. She also sees Thor go to Heimdall every night he is in Asgard for the past 2 years, to see over that one realm in particular, and the one human on it. And she also knows that the Allfather would never allow Thor to be with that girl.

But to push herself in his face like this. That's derogatory - to Thor, to her, to the girl! As repulsed as she feels with this command, it isn't in her power to oppose. What choice does she have than doing as she is told, as always.

She sighs again and puts on the last piece of her outfit - her most favorite bracelet. She didn't overdo her look, but it is surely brighter than usual.

She takes one final look at herself in the mirror. She really is doing this. Then looks at the tiny gift sitting on the dressing table, hesitates, but picks it anyhow. She can decide whether to give it or not only if she carries it with her.

Sif reaches the feast not too long after its commencement. Other days, she would go in and join her friends. Today, her eyes are only searching for the one friend who has always been more than that to her. She looks and looks, but Thor is nowhere to be seen. But she refrains from asking anyone, feeling strangely paranoid. When she is certain he isn't there, she leaves to look for him outside. This is great. She cannot even locate the one she has been asked to trifle with!

She wanders off not too far off behind the celebration hall when her eyes spot him - lying on his back, arms resting underneath his head, one leg outstretched, the other folded, and eyes closed - he looks ethereal as ever! And Sif thinks she now understands what the notion of the heart skipping a beat really feels like.

A tiny, secluded garden with the glistening lake in front - the place he chose is as surreal. Illuminated by the reflections of the moonlight through the lake water, and the only sound the calm lapping of the water. She can see why one would chose to come here instead of the noisy feast. But she cannot imagine the Thor of before the exile doing this. He relished in celebrations like those.

However, the Thor who has endured a banishment from a father, betrayals from a brother, and fought wars too many all this while, is a different man now. He has gotten quieter and quieter. Quieter, reserved, and so very distant.

Sif stands at the entrance of the garden, not knowing what to do. She can see the side of his face from where she stands behind him, and it appears as though he may be sleeping. Of course, how tired would he be! When has he ever gotten rest for himself? She should just leave. She'll tell the Allfather that she couldn't find him, and everyone else at the feast would confirm so if he wished to probe further.

She clutches the petite gift in her hand tighter, and turns around on her heels to leave as quietly as she came.

"Mother or Father?"

Sif turns back to look at Thor in disbelief! His head is slightly turned her way, with one eye opened and a very faint smile. She can swear she didn't as much as blink, let alone look away from his fine face for as long as she stood there. And he had not opened his eyes even once. How did he know of her presence? And what does he mean 'mother and father'?

"At who else's behest would you come here?" Thor answers the unasked question. "Not too hard to figure..." he trails off when he notices her dressing.

"Oh, you got dressed up for this!" he says in surprise, gesturing towards the hall behind her, now turning on his side and bracing himself on his elbow. He thinks she dressed up for that!

"Uh, you look lovely!" He meant to say that casually, but the tiniest bit of hesitation in his voice makes her feel that he did so as an afterthought, that he might as well compliment her, now that he has pointed out her heavier than usual attire. Add to it that he immediately looks away from her upon saying that.

She would have been upset abt it, if she wasn't already offended by his former comment.

"So I cannot seek you on my own?" she asks sternly.

He quirks his brows. "No I did not mean that. I just-- I apologise." he says sincerely.

But she realises just as soon how awfully wrong her accusation was. She sought him here only because his father asked her to. He was correct in assuming that someone would look for him only because his parents wish to keep an eye on him. He was right in his accusation, and she turned it on him instead - made him apologise.

What has she done? She lowers her eyes, feeling so very guilty. She should just leave.

"So may I?" She asks instead, reminded of the royal edict. And he gives her that heavenly smile of his. "Oh, yes. Yes, of course."

She puts the gift in her pocket and makes her way to where he has now sat up, leaning backwards and bracing on both his hands, legs still in the same position as before. Sif sits cross legged beside him. And now that she is this close to him, she cannot do much more than staring at him like fools.

Good that he is looking towards the lake and not really noticing (or perhaps ignoring) her unabashed oggling. The moonlight dazzling on his face through the lake water makes him look dreamier than he already is. He has started keeping a lighter beard. His golden hair have grown fairly long, he binds them behind now. This new look suits him quite well, better even.

He looks at her, gives a curt smile and turns back towards the lake again. She straightens at that. She should maybe look elsewhere.

Even though it's dimly lit, she can see that his eyes are slightly red. Maybe he was crying, which is why he is here. Or maybe he really was sleeping, or at least resting - and she barged in on him like that. Wonderful! She can still leave and let him have his rest.

"I looked for you inside." she says instead, "Did you not go entirely or vanished in between?"

"Does it matter? The Allfather wanted the Future King in attendance, so he was."

So he did go, but only to register his presence. The Future King may disagree, but the King is not wrong to want him there. "You speak as if it is uncustomary from him." she says hesitantly.

He shoots her a look. "I did not say that."

True. He didn't. But it isn't abt the Allfather wanting him there. It's abt enjoying oneself, celebrating a win. "If you view celebration as a formality, then..."

"Then?" His annoyance is evident now.

Sif shakes her head. She knows better than to irk him. But this is new, he would never get annoyed so easily. Perhaps he has been getting this sort of counselling far too much lately. She can imagine the Allmother and maybe even the Allfather telling him to enjoy celebrations for what they are, view them as a break from incessant war and misery around. But Thor needn't be told all this - this is the person who would celebrate for weeks. Today, he sits here alone.

"You used to revel in them." she looks at him. He chuckles and lowers his head, fiddling with the grass in his hand.

She cannot argue further if he chooses to not respond. She would have thought abt leaving yet again, but being here with him feels so strangely special, she doesn't want it to end, knowing well how selfish this is of her.

"Have you been to the hot water spring up there?" she points towards the hills beyond the lake. He looks up, at not where she is pointing, but her. Oh norns!

"It's beautiful." she manages to complete under his observing gaze.

He smiles in acknowledgement of her lame attempt of changing the subject. "I have, actually. Not much, though. Used to go when we were children." He stops abruptly, in the guise of changing his sitting posture. But Sif knows better. 'We' as in he and his brother. The brother who he didn't visit even once in his imprisonment. Should she ask why? Because she surely wants to know.

"You frequent it, I believe." he asks before she can.

"Not really. I would love to go with you." she answers without thinking, then quickly adds, "Sometime. If you are willing."

"Of course I'd be willing. Why would you say that?"

She would have been amused by his words, elated even. But she knows he does not mean it. Not in a deceiving manner, no. Thor would never do that. But this informal response of his is born out his camaraderie with her, and not what she wants it to be. Still, a wishful part of her greedily lays hold of his words. If he says this now, he might as well go with her if she asks.

"It'd be quite a view, wouldn't it?" she sighs. "Laying by the spring under the illuminated night sky."

A complete silence on the other end makes her snap out of her thoughts and look his way to find him looking no where in particular, but he instantly looks up upon feeling her eyes on him. He smiles again, hesitates a bit, and says, "Yes, it would. Certainly."

He looks down again. It is quite possible that her words reminded him of something. The forlorn look he sports tells her that it was certainly something regarding the Midgardian.

Jane, pretty name, just like herself - ironically meaning 'God's gracious gift'! Of the time Thor spent with her, maybe they went to a water spring of sorts. But that place is a desert.

Maybe some other calming place where they looked at the stars of her realm. She studies the stars, even more of a reason for him to be reminded of her when he is alone and looking up at the skies here. Maybe that is why he did not look when she mentioned stargazing a few moments ago.

"They aren't any less pretty tonight, the stars." she tries again.

He only nods in response.

"They're lovely."

He doesn't even nod this time.

"Won't you even look?" she asks weakly, feeling dejected.

He looks up at that, not at the stars, but her.

"I'm looking at you!" He gives her that infections smile of his, and she thinks she forgot her own name in that moment.

Though it passes just as soon, as he turns away to look in the distance, where some children have evidently wandered away from the hall, playing and running around.

Sif, however, is frozen. She wants to lock this moment away in her memories forever. Because this is the closest she'll ever get to him. Here he is, saying what she would die to hear him say, while all he can really think of is a mortal realms away from him.

She knows Thor doesn't, never looked at her that way - the way he did Jane. She saw them kiss like neither wanted to let go, saw him make a promise of coming back for her, while she watched him leave with desperate hope.

He loves this girl. This should be reason enough for Sif to finally move forward. Thor was never hers. Yet here she is, sitting alone with him, and still wishing for his undivided attention.

She slowly turns towards where he is looking. He seems to be engrossed in innocent chatter of the children. He even calls out to warn to watch their step. But their mothers soon find and take them away, scolding them for barging into the Prince's personal space.

Some young maidens go by as well. Thor, of course, does not even notice them, and turns his attention back to the calming lake. But the maidens do notice him, that is why they came here - to get a glimpse of him.

Ironic, he has got whole of Asgard fawning after him. Yet he longs for an insignificant human 9 realms away.

"Why don't you just go? I don't understand."

He looks up at her. "What, the spring?"

"No. Where you wish to be this moment, every moment." Sif cannot contain herself any longer now. "Where you promised to return. The bifrost is resurrected now. What is holding you back?"

She assumed he would take a moment or two to respond. Those are heavy questions, after all. But he does almost instantly, gesturing towards the hall behind her. "The festivities are almost over. We should--"

"--You watch over but wouldn't go." She cuts him off. He is going to go to Heimdall, Sif knows, but she needs answers. "While she searches for you like fools. That's cruel. If you really do love her, why would you do this to her?"

Because she cannot fathom this. It's as if he knows that he and his Jane cannot be together and by not returning, he is giving her reasons to think ill of him. So that she can forget him and move forward in her life. And he will content himself by watching from here and seeing her well and happy. Oh!

Sif slowly meets his gaze, feeling small. She should not have pressed him like this. He is looking back at her, anger and annoyance marking his features. And in that moment, she truly feels scared of him.

He clenches his jaw, looks away from her, and solemnly says, "I will have to take your leave now."

"No, Thor. I apologise." She grabs his hand as he is getting up to leave. "I spoke more than I should have."

He lets her hold him back, though still unsmiling. "But I really do have to leave." he tells her as calmly as he can. His urgency to go see his lovely mortal is endearing, really!

"Let's just forget this happened. Please." She is aware of how desperate she sounds.

He waits for a beat and nods. Thank norns!

She lets go of his arm. But he is going leave anyhow, she needs to be quick.

"I won't take much of your time." she stutters, "I actually, I wanted to give you a present."

He gives her an animated look of surprise. "What's the occasion?"

"No occasion." She shrugs, taking out the tiny gift from her pocket, grasping it firmly in her palm. "I just... wanted to. It's tiny and petty. But..."

He takes her hand and easily pries it open to reveal the present she bought him - a hair tie.

He smiles at it first, then at her. "Oh, Sif! Thank you!"

He is only being courteous.

"It's too simple and--"

"--No, I like it. It's great." he says sincerely, then adds, "But I'm afraid I won't be able to put it to use."

Before she can say anything, he explains himself, "I break them so often. And I don't want to lose something you gave me. I hope you don't mind."

Thor is looking at her expectantly, waiting for her approval. As if she can disagree!

She nods. Maybe he is only being polite, she'll never know. But to her, every word of his is true. Only Thor can do this - be so respectful and grateful of that trivial a gift.

He is starting to get up to leave, albeit slowly, almost hesitant. Then stops entirely and leans in to wrap her in his arms, hugging her close to him.

If it didn't before, her heart definitely skips a good few beats now. She cannot think straight right now, but does mange to bring her languidly hanging hands up his back, one of them reaching up his neck.

This is more than she can ever think of wanting from him. Just as she thinks he is going to break away, he brings his face closer to her and kisses her cheek.

Despite herself, she gasps! If he heard or noticed her abysmal reaction, he doesn't show it.

"Goodbye." he whispers and before she knows, he lets go of her and quickly gets up and leaves, not looking back. Sif is left sitting in the garden, heart beating faster than ever, hand on her cheek, watching as he walks away from her.

He was so close. So very close. His soft lips on her cheek, so close to where she'd want him be. Yet so far away.

He is going to go see Jane before leaving for Vanaheim tomorrow. It is the last realm to be fought for. After that, they get to return to Asgard and Thor would be free of his responsibilities (for now). He could go anywhere he pleases. But he would not return to where his heart is, no matter what.

Thor will stay here. Always in front of Sif. But never close enough. Sif will continue watching him kill himself over Jane, wishing she was as close to him. And Jane will continue searching for Thor, eventually giving up one day, defeated by her fate. A vicious circle.

Still, nothing will take away what he gave her here, a few moments ago. She smiles to herself, almost guiltily, and turns towards the lake - her eyes inadvertently travel up. And she sits there in the garden, staring longingly at the hot water spring up the hills.


End file.
